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Posts Tagged ‘manners’

pumpkinssssssssA pumpkin knocked at my door
I was shocked, I fell to the floor
The pumpkin had a toothless grin
In the end I asked him to come in
The pumpkin shook my hand
And said I knew you’d understand
I wanted to come to your party
I was all alone
With witches and ghosts
They frightened me so
It’s you I’d rather see
Someone warm and bright
On this Halloween night
So what have we got for tea
Trick or treat but…
It will be a whisky for me
Gillian and Thomas Sims

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When I was a child I remember being frightened at Goose Fair as well as excited.

I remember being pushed around in the crowds, people urgently wanting to reach the next ride.

They did not consider others,they did not use their manners. The need was for them self

This urgency to jump on the next ride,the anxiousness of what if I don’t get on it?

This need for greed overtakes everyone around them who may be in danger of being hurt.

People being pushed aside for someone who doesn’t care.

Things have changed today what do you think?

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I rubbed my eyes

As I jumped out of bed.

Brush your teeth,”

My mother said.

I opened my curtains wide,

I could not believe my eyes.

I saw a very large frog

Absolutely full of spots

Floating.

Or wait!

Could it be a dog?

Is it barking? Or is it croaking?

Then came that voice,

Have you brushed your teeth yet?”

Then the frog stopped and pushed his nose,

Against the glass,

What time is it?” he cried.

I left my watch at my bed side.”

My mother then ran up the stairs

I waved goodbye to spotty frog,

He started barking like a dog.

It sounded very much like,

Have you brushed your teeth yet?”

Gillian Sims copyright 2009

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dragom

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do not talk 

Miss prim went to visit her uncle in Pond lane

She clung to her umbrella in the pouring rain

A car stopped at her side

The driver asked if he could give her a ride,

Miss Prim looked at the strange man

She was very nervous and just ran and ran

It wasn’t far now to her uncles house

A few more steps and she would be safe and sound,

Miss Prim was so glad when her uncle opened his door

He seemed so surprised at what he saw

why are you crying” he asked Miss Prim,

She wiped her tears.”Can I come in?”

Her uncle found out about the man in the car

Don’t worry my dear he won’t get very far.”

He quickly picked up the phone,

I will tell the Police before you go home.”

Miss Prim felt so relieved

So glad that she hadn’t spoke to the stranger

So glad that she wasn’t in any danger

Gillian Sims

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MANNERSMANNERS

We all want our children to have good manners, but it can be a hard thing to teach them at times!  I think you should start early with kids — manners can and should be taught to children as soon as they begin to talk.  (Saying “please” and “thank you” are the basics.) I’ve found that parents who model good manners in front of their children often see them beginning to use appropriate manners on their own.

If your child has bad manners, try implementing some of the “Manners Matter” list below.  Don’t be afraid to over-exaggerate your good manners in front of your child.  Let you child know that good manners are important.

 

Manners Matter

* The first step in helping your child to develop good manners is to identify or make a list of good manners.  A manners list can be written for the home, friend’s homes, school, eating establishments, sporting activities and other places that you allow your child to frequent.  Place the list in a place where you and the child can easily refer to them.  Have your child help write or draw up the lists.

* When your child is displaying poor manners, don’t lecture — teach.  For example: Show your child by wiping your own mouth with a napkin that that’s the appropriate thing to do, instead of using the side of an arm.  Be positive while you are teaching!

* Review your child’s school discipline policy.  Many school rules are set up so that their students display appropriate manners.  For example, schools do not allow their students to walk on tables, throw food and talk when others are talking.  These manner rules can help you reinforce your own manner guidelines at home.

* Teach your child appropriate signals or body language (other than your voice) to remind them to use good manners.  For example, placing your finger on your ear may be used to help remind the child to listen to others while they talk.  Rubbing your lip may be used to remind the child to slow down when eating food.

* Do not be afraid to remove your child from a setting if he or she continues to display bad manners.  Dismiss the child from the dinner table after you have reminded the child of the need to use good manners.

* Children may commonly choose to use inappropriate language when they are with their peers.  Let your child know that this is unacceptable behavior and poor manners.

* Do not encourage your child to use bad manners by laughing at them after they burp, act silly at an inappropriate time, pr make a funny face when someone is serious.  This only teaches the child to use poor manners.

* Always take the time to review the good manner lists before going to the grocery store, someone’s house for dinner, sporting events and other places that your child may attend.

With some practice and coaching on your part, you’ll see your child go from having less-than-perfect manners, to being ready for all the social occasions coming up this spring and summer.

LET’S HAVE YOUR TIPS OR COMMENTS

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How often do you use your manners?
(polls)

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quranhd

Good Manners in Islam:

The sections of this article are:

1-  Good manners and good character.
2-  Repel evil with Good.
3-  Further good manners teachings in the Noble Quran.
4-  No vain talking or foul language.  
Hypocrites are those who speak foul language.
5-  Allah Almighty orders Muslims to deal kindly and justly with non-Muslims.
6-  Yawning in Islam.
7-  Greetings in Islam.
8-  Respect and honor your guests.
9-  Respecting others’ properties.
10-  Do not be a stuck-up!
11-  No offensive name calling is allowed! And do not look down on others!
12-  If you are loved by people, then Allah Almighty loves you.
13-  What does Islam say about bad breath and body smell?
14-  Muslims must never brag about their sins.  Allah Almighty will never forgive the sins that are advertised.
15-  Is arguing in public allowed in Islam?
16-  How to be a “Strong Muslim” in Islam.
17-  The Bible’s 
Ten Commandments in the Noble Quran.

1-  Good manners and good character:

Islam is a beautiful religion, full of wisdom and harmony.   If this wonderful religion is followed properly then a typical Muslim would only be a great example to follow.

Narrated ‘Abdullah bin ‘Amr: “The Prophet never used bad language neither a ‘Fahish nor a Mutafahish. He used to say ‘The best amongst you are those who have the best manners and character.’ (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Virtues and Merits of the Prophet (peace be upon him) and his Companions, Volume 4, Book 56, Number 759)

Narrated ‘Abdullah bin ‘Amr: “The Prophet never used bad language neither a “Fahish nor a Mutafahish. He used to say “The best amongst you are those who have the best manners and character.”  (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Virtues and Merits of the Prophet (pbuh) and his Companions, Volume 4, Book 56, Number 759)

Narrated Masruq: “Abdullah bin ‘Amr mentioned Allah’s Apostle saying that he was neither a Fahish nor a Mutafahish. Abdullah bin ‘Amr added, Allah’s Apostle said, ‘The best among you are those who have the best manners and character.’  (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Good Manners and Form (Al-Adab), Volume 8, Book 73, Number 56)

Narrated Masruq: “We were sitting with ‘Abdullah bin ‘Amr who was narrating to us (Hadith): He said, “Allah’s Apostle was neither a Fahish nor a Mutafahhish, and he used to say, ‘The best among you are the best in character (having good manners).”‘  (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Good Manners and Form (Al-Adab), Volume 8, Book 73, Number 61)

Most of the following writings were mostly taken from the Noble Quran which was translated by Sheikh (Minister) Abdullah Yusuf Ali; may Allah Almighty rest his soul.

2-  Repel evil with Good:

Allah Almighty in the Noble Quran commands us to return the evil that is done to us by others to not only with good, but with best!

The following Noble Verses and comments were sent to me by a Muslim brother; may Allah Almighty always be pleased with him:

Let us look at Noble Verse 13:22 “Those who patiently persevere, seeking the countenance of their Lord; establish regular prayers; spend out of (the gifts) We have bestowed for their sustenance, secretly and openly; and turn off evil with good: for such there is the final attainment of the (Eternal) Home.”

Let us look at Noble Verse 23:96 Repel evil with that which is best: We are Well-acquainted with the things they say.”

Let us look at Noble Verse 41:34 “Nor can goodness and evil be equal.  Repel (evil) with that is better: Then will he between whom and thee was hatred become as it were thy friend and intimate!.”

Let us look at Noble Verse 28:54 “Twice will they be given their reward, for that they have persevered, that they avert evil with good, and that they spend (in charity) out of what We have given them.”

Let us look at Noble Verse 42:40 “The recompense for an injury is an injury equal thereto (in degree): but if a person forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is due from Allah: for (Allah) Loveth not those who do wrong.”

Whether people speak evil of you, in your presence or behind your back, or they do evil to you in either of those ways, all is known to Allah Almighty.  It is not for you to punish.  Your best course is not to do evil in your turn, but to do what will best repel the evil.  Two evils do not make a good.

You do not return good for evil, for there is no equality or comparison between the two.  You repel or destroy evil with something which is far better, just as an antidote is better than poison.  You foil hatred with love.  You repel ignorance with knowledge, folly and wickedness with the friendly message of Revelation.  The man who was in bondage of sin, you not only liberate from sin, but make him your greatest friend and helper in the cause of Allah Almighty!.  Such is the alchemy of the Word of Allah Almighty!.  Your credit for returning evil with good and paying for charity is double.  Also if you forgive and return the evil with good, then Allah Almighty will love you and reward you.

3-  Further good manners teachings in the Noble Quran:

“It is part of the Mercy of Allah that thou dost deal gently with them.  Wert thou severe or harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about thee: so pass over (their faults), and ask for (Allah’s) forgiveness for them; and consult them in affairs (of moment). Then, when thou hast taken a decision, put thy trust in Allah. For Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him).  (The Noble Quran, 3:159)

“Those who spend (freely), whether in prosperity, or in adversity; who restrain anger, and pardon (all) men; for Allah loves those who do good.   (The Noble Quran, 3:134)” 

“Hold to forgiveness; command what is right; but turn away from the ignorant.  (The Noble Quran, 7:199)

“Allah loveth not that evil should be noised a broad in public speech, except where injustice hath been done; for Allah is He Who heareth and knoweth all things.  (The Noble Quran, 4:148)

“Say to My servants that they should (only) say those things that are best: for Satan doth sow dissensions among them: for Satan is to man an avowed enemy.  (The Noble Quran, 17:53)

“Who avoid vain talk;  (The Noble Quran, 23:3)

“And when they hear vain talk, they turn away therefrom and say: ‘To us our deeds, and to you yours; peace be to you: we seek not the ignorant.’   (The Noble Quran, 28:55)

4-  No vain talking or foul language:

Muslims are commanded to stay away from vain talkers:

When thou seest men engaged in vain discourse about Our signs, turn away from them unless they turn to a different theme. If Satan ever makes thee forget, then after recollection, sit not thou in the company of those who do wrong.  (The Noble Quran, 6:68)

“Who avoid vain talk;  (The Noble Quran, 23:3)

And when they hear vain talk, they turn away therefrom and say: ‘To us our deeds, and to you yours; peace be to you: we seek not the ignorant.’  (The Noble Quran, 28:55)

So leave them to plunge in vain talk and play about, until they encounter that Day of theirs which they have been promised!-  (The Noble Quran, 70:42)

“(The sinners will say:) ‘But we used to talk vanities with vain talkers;’  (The Noble Quran, 74:45)

According to the Noble Verses above, any vain talk or foul language are prohibited.  Muslims must always stay away from vain talkers.  Those who participate with them will be from among them, and will face a great punishment.

Hypocrites are those who speak foul language:

Let us look at what Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him said:

Narrated ‘Abdullah bin ‘Amr: “The Prophet said, “Whoever has the following four (characteristics) will be a pure hypocrite and whoever has one of the following four characteristics will have one characteristic of hypocrisy unless and until he gives it up.

1. Whenever he is entrusted, he betrays.

2. Whenever he speaks, he tells a lie.

3. Whenever he makes a covenant, he proves treacherous.

4. Whenever he quarrels, he behaves in a very imprudent, evil and insulting manner.”  (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Belief, Volume 1, Book 2, Number 33)

5-  Allah Almighty orders Muslims to deal kindly and justly with non-Muslims:

“Allah forbids you not, With regard to those who Fight you not for (your) Faith Nor drive you out Of your homes, From dealing kindly and justly With them: For Allah loveth Those who are just.  (The Noble Quran, 60:8)

Narrated Jarir bin ‘Abdullah:  “Allah’s Apostle said, ‘Allah will not be merciful to those who are not merciful to mankind.’  (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, ONENESS, UNIQUENESS OF ALLAH (TAWHEED), Volume 9, Book 93, Number 473)

The Muslim needs to always be polite, humble, patient, loving and well mannered when he/she deals with others, whether they were Muslims or non-Muslims.  Allah Almighty certainly doesn’t love those who are offensive and rude to others.

Please visit The Mercy of Allah Almighty, and the Wisdom of the age of 40.

What does Allah Almighty say about Justice for all in an Islamic State?

6-  Yawning in Islam:

When you yawn, you must either keep your lips locked, or cover your mouth with your hand(s):

The son of Abu Said al-Khudri reported on the authority of his father that Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: “When one of you yawns, he should keep his mouth shut with the help of his hand, for it is the devil that enters therein.  (Translation of Sahih Muslim, The Book Pertaining to Piety and Softening of Hearts (Kitab Al-Zuhd wa Al-Raqa’iq), Book 042, Number 7130)

The devil here in the Saying of our beloved Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him is your act of offense to others.  Many people would get offended when people yawn without covering their mouths.

The same applies to sneezing.

7-  Greetings in Islam:

Allah Almighty in the Noble Quran commands us to return a greeting with a better one or at least an equal one.  We must maintain the high standards in manners and always be the best examples.

Let us look at Noble Verse 4:86 “When a (courteous) greeting is offered you, meet it with a greeting still more  courteous, or (at least) of equal courtesy.  Allah takes careful account of all things.”

The necessary correlative to the command to fight in a good cause is the command to cultivate sweetness and cordiality in our manners at all times.   For fighting is an exceptional necessity while the sweetness of daily human intercourse is a normal need.  Further, we give kindness and courtesy without asking, and return it if possible in even better terms than we received, or at least in equally courteous terms.  For we are all creatures of One GOD, and shall be brought together before Him.

8-  Respect and honor your guests:

Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him said:

Narrated Abu Shuraih Al-Khuza’i:  “My ears heard and my heart grasped (the statement which) the Prophet said, “The period for keeping one’s guest is three days (and don’t forget) his reward.” It was asked, “What is his reward?” He said, “In the first night and the day he should be given a high class quality of meals; and whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, should entertain his guest generously; and whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should talk what is good (sense) or keep quiet.”  (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, To make the Heart Tender (Ar-Riqaq), Volume 8, Book 76, Number 483)

Narrated Abu Huraira:  “Allah’s Apostle said, “Anybody who believes in Allah and the Last Day should not harm his neighbor, and anybody who believes in Allah and the Last Day should entertain his guest generouslyand anybody who believes in Allah and the Last Day should talk what is good or keep quiet. (i.e. abstain from all kinds of evil and dirty talk).  (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Good Manners and Form (Al-Adab), Volume 8, Book 73, Number 47)

Narrated ‘Abdullah bin ‘Amr bin Al-‘As:  “Once Allah’s Apostle came to me,” and then he narrated the whole narration, i.e. your guest has a right on you, and your wife has a right on you. I then asked about the fasting of David. The Prophet replied, “Half of the year,” (i.e. he used to fast on every alternate day).  (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Fasting, Volume 3, Book 31, Number 195)

9-  Respecting others’ properties:

Allah Almighty commands us to respect people’s properties and not to be transgressors.

Let us look at Noble Verses 24:27-28 “27. O ye believe! Enter not houses other than your own, until ye have asked permission and saluted those in them: that is best for you, in order that ye may heed (what is seemly).

28. If ye find no one in the house, enter not until permission is given to you: if ye are asked to go back, go back: That makes for greater purity for yourselves: and Allah Knows well all that ye do.”

The conventions of propriety and privacy are essential to a refined life of goodness and purity.  The English saying that an Englishman’s home is his castle, suggests a certain amount of exclusiveness and defiance.  The Muslim principle of asking respectful permission and exchanging salutations ensures privacy without exclusiveness and friendliness without undue familiarity.

That is, if no one replies: there may be people in the house not in a presentable state.  Or, even if the house is empty, you have no right to enter it until you obtain the owner’s permission, wherever he may be.  The fact of your not receiving a reply does not entitle you to enter without permission.  You should wait, or knock twice or three times, and withdraw in case no permission is received.  If you are actually asked to withdraw, as the inmates are not in a condition to receive you, you should a fortiori withdraw, either for a time, or altogether, as the inmates may wish you to do.  Even if they are your friends, you have no right to take them by surprise or enter against their wishes.  You own purity of life and conduct as well as of motives is thus tested.

“They ask thee Concerning the New Moons.  Say:   They are but signs To mark fixed periods of time In (the affairs of) men, And for Pilgrimage.  It is no virtue if ye enter Your houses from the back:  It is virtue if ye fear Allah.  Enter houses Through the proper doors:  And fear Allah:  That ye may prosper.  (The Noble Quran, 2:189)

Note on Noble Verse 2:189:  The English translator wrote “enter Your houses from the back”.  This is a mistranslation, because in Arabic it says: “taato AL-BOYOOTA min thohooriha”, which literally means “enter THE HOUSES from the back”. 

So the Noble Verse should read as:

“They ask thee Concerning the New Moons.  Say:   They are but signs To mark fixed periods of time In (the affairs of) men, And for Pilgrimage.  It is no virtue if ye enter the houses from the back:  It is virtue if ye fear Allah.  Enter houses Through the proper doors:   And fear Allah:  That ye may prosper.  (The Noble Quran, 2:189)

According to this Noble Verse, Muslims are not allowed to sneak up on people from their back yards or back doors.  Since back doors and back yards are strictly for private use and not public, then it would be inappropriate for a Muslim to enter anyone’s house from the back, because it would be a form of an invasion of privacy and rudeness.

Those who deliberately violate this law from Allah Almighty will be punished, because Allah Almighty said: “It is virtue if ye fear Allah…..” and “And fear Allah:  That ye may prosper.” in the Noble Verse.

10-  Do not be a stuck-up!

Allah Almighty commands us not to be stuck-up.  He commands us to be laid back and down to earth type of people.

Let us look at Noble Verse 17:37 “Nor walk on the earth with insolence: for thou can not rend the earth asunder, nor reach the mountains in height.”

“And swell not thy cheek (for pride) at men, nor walk in insolence through the earth; for God loveth not any arrogant boaster.  (The Noble Quran, 31:18)

Insolence, or arrogance, or undue elation at our powers or capacities, is the first step to many evils.  Besides, it is unjustified.  All our gifts are from Allah Almighty.

11-  No offensive name calling is allowed! And do not look down on others!

“O ye who believe! Let not some men among you laugh at others: It may be that the (latter) are better than the (former): Nor let some women laugh at others: It may be that the (latter are better than the (former): Nor defame nor be sarcastic to each other, nor call each other by (offensive) nicknames: Ill-seeming is a name connoting wickedness, (to be used of one) after he has believed: And those who do not desist are (indeed) doing wrong. (The Noble Quran, 49:11)

12-  If you are loved by people, then Allah Almighty loves you:

Narrated Abu Huraira: “Allah’s Apostle said, ‘If Allah loves a person, He calls Gabriel, saying, ‘Allah loves so and so, O Gabriel love him’ So Gabriel would love him and then would make an announcement in the Heavens: ‘Allah has loved so and-so therefore you should love him also.’ So all the dwellers of the Heavens would love him, and then he is granted the pleasure of the people on the earth.‘   (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, ONENESS, UNIQUENESS OF ALLAH (TAWHEED), Volume 9, Book 93, Number 577)

Please visit The Mercy of Allah Almighty to Mankind.

13-  What does Islam say about bad breath and body smell?

Please visit What does Islam say about bad breath and body smell?

14-  Muslims must never brag about their sins.  Allah Almighty will never forgive the sins that are advertised:

Allah Almighty will not forgive the sins that are publicly disclosed and bragged about.

What does the Noble Quran say about temptation in general, flirting and sexual enticement?

15-  Is arguing in public allowed in Islam?

Let us look at what Allah Almighty Said in the Noble Quran:

God loveth not that evil should be noised abroad in public speech, except where injustice hath been done; for God is He who heareth and knoweth all things.  (The Noble Quran, 4:148)

So unless there is a good and just reason for having a public shouting, we as Muslims are Commanded by Allah Almighty to maintain our manners and good behavior in public.

16-  How to be a “Strong Muslim” in Islam:

“Abu Huraira reported Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: The strong-man is not one who wrestles well but the strong man is one who controls himself when he is in a fit of rage.  (The book of Muslim, Book 32, Number 6313)

“Abu Huraira reported: I heard Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: One is not strong because of one’s wrestling skillfully. They said: Allah’s Messenger, then who is strong? He said: He who controls his anger when he is in a fit of rage.  (The book of Muslim, Book 32, Number 6314)

“Anas b. Malik reported Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: Neither nurse mutual hatred, nor jealousy, nor enmity, and become as fellow brothers and servants of Allah. It is not lawful for a Muslim that he should keep his relations estranged with his brother beyond three days.  (The book of Muslim, Book 32, Number 6205)

“Abu Huraira reported Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: Don’t nurse grudge and don’t bid him out for raising the price and don’t nurse aversion or enmity and don’t enter into a transaction when the others have entered into that transaction and be as fellow-brothers and servants of Allah. A Muslim is the brother of a Muslim. He neither oppresses him nor humiliates him nor looks down upon him. The piety is here, (and while saying so) he pointed towards his chest thrice. It is a serious evil for a Muslim that he should look down upon his brother Muslim. All things of a Muslim are inviolable for his brother in faith: his blood, his wealth and his honour.   (The book of Muslim, Book 32, Number 6219)

17-  The Bible’s Ten Commandments in the Noble Quran:

Please visit:  The Bible’s Ten Commandments in the Noble Quran.

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catsxxxxxxxxxxx

It’s raining in my bedroom.
It’s been this way all week.
I think the upstairs neighbor’s plumbing
might have sprung a leak.
They may be on vacation.
They must be out of town.
And, all the while, my bedroom rain
continues pouring down.
My shoes have gotten soggy.
My bed is growing mold.
A pond is forming on my floor.
It’s all so wet and cold,
that frogs have started spawning.
An otter wandered through
with salmon splashing upstream,
and some guy in a canoe.
Now waves are growing larger.
The weather’s turning grim.
A tide is rising rapidly.
I’m glad that I can swim.
My parents called the plumber.
He’s nowhere to be seen.
Does anybody know where I
can buy a submarine?

–Kenn Nesbitt

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CAT

We had the same problem with our 3-year-old daughter and our cat. We begged her to be gentle. We tried to show her how to pet the cat, play with him gently, etc. We punished her with timeouts (and I admit, a spanking on more than one occasion) and nothing seemed to work EXCEPT….. we did a complete turnaround and if she did anything even remotely hurtful to the cat, we made a HUGE fuss over the cat and completely ignored her, e.g. “oh, poor kitty! Are you okay? Poor baby! You got hurt.” It drove our daughter CRAZY and she stopped tormenting the cat within just a few days. Then, we really went out of our way to give her MEGA praise when she would treat the cat well. If we saw her petting the cat gently or playing with him nicely, we really played up how wonderful that was and would sometimes even surprise her with little prizes — “wow, you are so nice to the kitty — how would you like a sticker.” At Thanksgiving, my family was talking to us that we should give away the cat because of how our daughter was treating him. At Christmas, my family was praising us for getting our daughter’s behavior with him completely under control. It was a frustrating experience, but we are at last a family at peace!

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

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