Where Have All The (Good) Manners Gone?

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Cor 13:4-7 NIV)

      Perhaps you’ve noticed that good manners have become an endangered species, although they have yet to gain “protected” status. Almost everyone still enjoys being on the receiving end of polite treatment, but few seem to care to cultivate the behavior in themselves-and good manners have to be cultivated, they seldom grow naturally. Clearly there is a lot to be said in favor of practicing good manners, much to be gained by simple politeness, but it takes some real effort and motivation to incorporate good manners in our normal behavior. For Christians that motivation is simply expressed when Paul says that “love is not rude” (or “ill-mannered” or “unseemly,” 1 Cor. 13:5).

      Though it can be shown that good manners are of value to everyone and good for all of society, people cannot generally be expected to behave well for a vague or intangible reason. The easiest and perhaps most natural response to bad behavior is bad behavior. Even if we know that bad manners contribute to societal decay and an overall atmosphere of violence and intolerance few people think about such concepts in a moment of anger, frustration, or impatience. Many of the ways that we interact with strangers today seem to be almost designed to promote the attitudes that provoke bad manners (freeway driving, shopping lines, drive through service, telephone sales, etc.) In fact, in keeping with the general decline in the practice of good manners, there are multitudes of training programs today that actually encourage bad manners as a device for personal success under the banner of “assertiveness.”

Some seem to think that the solution to the problems associated with bad manners in general is to be found in fear (“an armed society is a polite society”) or else in regimentation and mandated conformity (dress codes, regulations). These are unlikely solutions though. They do not address the basic problem of (not) respecting and caring for other people. While either fear or rules can provoke an attitude, neither can provide effective motivation for a sustained good attitude. The attitude that produces good manners is a product of training and motivation. People will not behave well unless they 1) want to behave well and 2) know how to. “Love is not rude.” People (you and I) have to learn-again-to value people. Christian leaders are directed to teach people “to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show every courtesy to everyone” (Titus 3:2 NRSV). The gospel of God’s love supplies the motive to want to behave well and the church is to be a training ground for good manners, teaching believers how to behave well. The Christian way of life is directly based on values that demand good manners, respectful and polite treatment of other people-thoughtfulness, even toward anonymous strangers. Wherever society’s manners may go, the Christian mandate is to behave well among the misbehaving. Good deeds truly begin with good manners. Jesus summarized the concept by saying, “Treat others as you would like to be treated.” (Matthew 7:12)

Where Have All The (Good) Manners Gone?

TELL US WHAT YOU THINK.  MAKE A  COMMENT.TELL US WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT MANNERS IN TODAYS SOCIETY.

 

 

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Good Manners (Free Style)

It is good to have manners
And I’am referring to good ones
It’s great to say ‘Thank you’
When you get some from someone

Good manners you can always
Cultivate them in your talk
You can learn them all
In your life as you walk

This wonderful process should
Begin when the kids are small
Parents should teach all
Their children good manners

These days we don’t meet
Many children with good manners you see
Most of them act rude and that’s a shame
And that goes for teens and adults too

Dorian Petersen Potter

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“My Child Has Bad Manners — What Can I Do?”

 

 

We all want our children to have good manners, but it can be a hard thing to teach them at times!  I think you should start early with kids — manners can and should be taught to children as soon as they begin to talk.  (Saying “please” and “thank you” are the basics.) I’ve found that parents who model good manners in front of their children often see them beginning to use appropriate manners on their own.

If your child has bad manners, try implementing some of the “Manners Matter” list below.  Don’t be afraid to over-exaggerate your good manners in front of your child.  Let you child know that good manners are important.

 

Manners Matter

* The first step in helping your child to develop good manners is to identify or make a list of good manners.  A manners list can be written for the home, friend’s homes, school, eating establishments, sporting activities and other places that you allow your child to frequent.  Place the list in a place where you and the child can easily refer to them.  Have your child help write or draw up the lists.

* When your child is displaying poor manners, don’t lecture — teach.  For example: Show your child by wiping your own mouth with a napkin that that’s the appropriate thing to do, instead of using the side of an arm.  Be positive while you are teaching!

* Review your child’s school discipline policy.  Many school rules are set up so that their students display appropriate manners.  For example, schools do not allow their students to walk on tables, throw food and talk when others are talking.  These manner rules can help you reinforce your own manner guidelines at home.

* Teach your child appropriate signals or body language (other than your voice) to remind them to use good manners.  For example, placing your finger on your ear may be used to help remind the child to listen to others while they talk.  Rubbing your lip may be used to remind the child to slow down when eating food.

* Do not be afraid to remove your child from a setting if he or she continues to display bad manners.  Dismiss the child from the dinner table after you have reminded the child of the need to use good manners.

* Children may commonly choose to use inappropriate language when they are with their peers.  Let your child know that this is unacceptable behavior and poor manners.

* Do not encourage your child to use bad manners by laughing at them after they burp, act silly at an inappropriate time, pr make a funny face when someone is serious.  This only teaches the child to use poor manners.

* Always take the time to review the good manner lists before going to the grocery store, someone’s house for dinner, sporting events and other places that your child may attend.

With some practice and coaching on your part, you’ll see your child go from having less-than-perfect manners, to being ready for all the social occasions coming up this spring and summer.

LET’S HAVE YOUR TIPS OR COMMENTS

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Good Manners in Islam:

Good Manners in Islam:

The sections of this article are:

1-  Good manners and good character.
2-  Repel evil with Good.
3-  Further good manners teachings in the Noble Quran.
4-  No vain talking or foul language.  Hypocrites are those who speak foul language.
5-  Allah Almighty orders Muslims to deal kindly and justly with non-Muslims.
6-  Yawning in Islam.
7-  Greetings in Islam.
8-  Respect and honor your guests.
9-  Respecting others’ properties.
10-  Do not be a stuck-up!
11-  No offensive name calling is allowed! And do not look down on others!
12-  If you are loved by people, then Allah Almighty loves you.
13-  What does Islam say about bad breath and body smell?
14-  Muslims must never brag about their sins.  Allah Almighty will never forgive the sins that are advertised.
15-  Is arguing in public allowed in Islam?
16-  How to be a “Strong Muslim” in Islam.
17-  The Bible’s Ten Commandments in the Noble Quran.

1-  Good manners and good character:

Islam is a beautiful religion, full of wisdom and harmony.   If this wonderful religion is followed properly then a typical Muslim would only be a great example to follow.

Narrated ‘Abdullah bin ‘Amr: “The Prophet never used bad language neither a ‘Fahish nor a Mutafahish. He used to say ‘The best amongst you are those who have the best manners and character.’ (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Virtues and Merits of the Prophet (peace be upon him) and his Companions, Volume 4, Book 56, Number 759)“

Narrated ‘Abdullah bin ‘Amr: “The Prophet never used bad language neither a “Fahish nor a Mutafahish. He used to say “The best amongst you are those who have the best manners and character.”  (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Virtues and Merits of the Prophet (pbuh) and his Companions, Volume 4, Book 56, Number 759)“

Narrated Masruq: “Abdullah bin ‘Amr mentioned Allah’s Apostle saying that he was neither a Fahish nor a Mutafahish. Abdullah bin ‘Amr added, Allah’s Apostle said, ‘The best among you are those who have the best manners and character.’  (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Good Manners and Form (Al-Adab), Volume 8, Book 73, Number 56)“

Narrated Masruq: “We were sitting with ‘Abdullah bin ‘Amr who was narrating to us (Hadith): He said, “Allah’s Apostle was neither a Fahish nor a Mutafahhish, and he used to say, ‘The best among you are the best in character (having good manners).”‘  (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Good Manners and Form (Al-Adab), Volume 8, Book 73, Number 61)“

Most of the following writings were mostly taken from the Noble Quran which was translated by Sheikh (Minister) Abdullah Yusuf Ali; may Allah Almighty rest his soul.

2-  Repel evil with Good:

Allah Almighty in the Noble Quran commands us to return the evil that is done to us by others to not only with good, but with best!

The following Noble Verses and comments were sent to me by a Muslim brother; may Allah Almighty always be pleased with him:

Let us look at Noble Verse 13:22 “Those who patiently persevere, seeking the countenance of their Lord; establish regular prayers; spend out of (the gifts) We have bestowed for their sustenance, secretly and openly; and turn off evil with good: for such there is the final attainment of the (Eternal) Home.”

Let us look at Noble Verse 23:96 “Repel evil with that which is best: We are Well-acquainted with the things they say.”

Let us look at Noble Verse 41:34 “Nor can goodness and evil be equal.  Repel (evil) with that is better: Then will he between whom and thee was hatred become as it were thy friend and intimate!.”

Let us look at Noble Verse 28:54 “Twice will they be given their reward, for that they have persevered, that they avert evil with good, and that they spend (in charity) out of what We have given them.”

Let us look at Noble Verse 42:40 “The recompense for an injury is an injury equal thereto (in degree): but if a person forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is due from Allah: for (Allah) Loveth not those who do wrong.”

Whether people speak evil of you, in your presence or behind your back, or they do evil to you in either of those ways, all is known to Allah Almighty.  It is not for you to punish.  Your best course is not to do evil in your turn, but to do what will best repel the evil.  Two evils do not make a good.

You do not return good for evil, for there is no equality or comparison between the two.  You repel or destroy evil with something which is far better, just as an antidote is better than poison.  You foil hatred with love.  You repel ignorance with knowledge, folly and wickedness with the friendly message of Revelation.  The man who was in bondage of sin, you not only liberate from sin, but make him your greatest friend and helper in the cause of Allah Almighty!.  Such is the alchemy of the Word of Allah Almighty!.  Your credit for returning evil with good and paying for charity is double.  Also if you forgive and return the evil with good, then Allah Almighty will love you and reward you.

3-  Further good manners teachings in the Noble Quran:

“It is part of the Mercy of Allah that thou dost deal gently with them.  Wert thou severe or harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about thee: so pass over (their faults), and ask for (Allah’s) forgiveness for them; and consult them in affairs (of moment). Then, when thou hast taken a decision, put thy trust in Allah. For Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him).  (The Noble Quran, 3:159)“

“Those who spend (freely), whether in prosperity, or in adversity; who restrain anger, and pardon (all) men; for Allah loves those who do good.   (The Noble Quran, 3:134)” 

“Hold to forgiveness; command what is right; but turn away from the ignorant.  (The Noble Quran, 7:199)“

“Allah loveth not that evil should be noised a broad in public speech, except where injustice hath been done; for Allah is He Who heareth and knoweth all things.  (The Noble Quran, 4:148)“

“Say to My servants that they should (only) say those things that are best: for Satan doth sow dissensions among them: for Satan is to man an avowed enemy.  (The Noble Quran, 17:53)“

“Who avoid vain talk;  (The Noble Quran, 23:3)”

“And when they hear vain talk, they turn away therefrom and say: ‘To us our deeds, and to you yours; peace be to you: we seek not the ignorant.’   (The Noble Quran, 28:55)“

4-  No vain talking or foul language:

Muslims are commanded to stay away from vain talkers:

“When thou seest men engaged in vain discourse about Our signs, turn away from them unless they turn to a different theme. If Satan ever makes thee forget, then after recollection, sit not thou in the company of those who do wrong.  (The Noble Quran, 6:68)“

“Who avoid vain talk;  (The Noble Quran, 23:3)“

“And when they hear vain talk, they turn away therefrom and say: ‘To us our deeds, and to you yours; peace be to you: we seek not the ignorant.’  (The Noble Quran, 28:55)“

“So leave them to plunge in vain talk and play about, until they encounter that Day of theirs which they have been promised!-  (The Noble Quran, 70:42)“

“(The sinners will say:) ‘But we used to talk vanities with vain talkers;’  (The Noble Quran, 74:45)“

According to the Noble Verses above, any vain talk or foul language are prohibited.  Muslims must always stay away from vain talkers.  Those who participate with them will be from among them, and will face a great punishment.

Hypocrites are those who speak foul language:

Let us look at what Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him said:

Narrated ‘Abdullah bin ‘Amr: “The Prophet said, “Whoever has the following four (characteristics) will be a pure hypocrite and whoever has one of the following four characteristics will have one characteristic of hypocrisy unless and until he gives it up.

1. Whenever he is entrusted, he betrays.

2. Whenever he speaks, he tells a lie.

3. Whenever he makes a covenant, he proves treacherous.

4. Whenever he quarrels, he behaves in a very imprudent, evil and insulting manner.”  (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Belief, Volume 1, Book 2, Number 33)“

5-  Allah Almighty orders Muslims to deal kindly and justly with non-Muslims:

“Allah forbids you not, With regard to those who Fight you not for (your) Faith Nor drive you out Of your homes, From dealing kindly and justly With them: For Allah loveth Those who are just.  (The Noble Quran, 60:8)“

Narrated Jarir bin ‘Abdullah:  “Allah’s Apostle said, ‘Allah will not be merciful to those who are not merciful to mankind.’  (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, ONENESS, UNIQUENESS OF ALLAH (TAWHEED), Volume 9, Book 93, Number 473)“

The Muslim needs to always be polite, humble, patient, loving and well mannered when he/she deals with others, whether they were Muslims or non-Muslims.  Allah Almighty certainly doesn’t love those who are offensive and rude to others.

Please visit The Mercy of Allah Almighty, and the Wisdom of the age of 40.

What does Allah Almighty say about Justice for all in an Islamic State?

6-  Yawning in Islam:

When you yawn, you must either keep your lips locked, or cover your mouth with your hand(s):

The son of Abu Said al-Khudri reported on the authority of his father that Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: “When one of you yawns, he should keep his mouth shut with the help of his hand, for it is the devil that enters therein.  (Translation of Sahih Muslim, The Book Pertaining to Piety and Softening of Hearts (Kitab Al-Zuhd wa Al-Raqa’iq), Book 042, Number 7130)“

The devil here in the Saying of our beloved Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him is your act of offense to others.  Many people would get offended when people yawn without covering their mouths.

The same applies to sneezing.

7-  Greetings in Islam:

Allah Almighty in the Noble Quran commands us to return a greeting with a better one or at least an equal one.  We must maintain the high standards in manners and always be the best examples.

Let us look at Noble Verse 4:86 “When a (courteous) greeting is offered you, meet it with a greeting still more  courteous, or (at least) of equal courtesy.  Allah takes careful account of all things.”

The necessary correlative to the command to fight in a good cause is the command to cultivate sweetness and cordiality in our manners at all times.   For fighting is an exceptional necessity while the sweetness of daily human intercourse is a normal need.  Further, we give kindness and courtesy without asking, and return it if possible in even better terms than we received, or at least in equally courteous terms.  For we are all creatures of One GOD, and shall be brought together before Him.

8-  Respect and honor your guests:

Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him said:

Narrated Abu Shuraih Al-Khuza’i:  “My ears heard and my heart grasped (the statement which) the Prophet said, “The period for keeping one’s guest is three days (and don’t forget) his reward.” It was asked, “What is his reward?” He said, “In the first night and the day he should be given a high class quality of meals; and whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, should entertain his guest generously; and whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should talk what is good (sense) or keep quiet.”  (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, To make the Heart Tender (Ar-Riqaq), Volume 8, Book 76, Number 483)“

Narrated Abu Huraira:  “Allah’s Apostle said, “Anybody who believes in Allah and the Last Day should not harm his neighbor, and anybody who believes in Allah and the Last Day should entertain his guest generouslyand anybody who believes in Allah and the Last Day should talk what is good or keep quiet. (i.e. abstain from all kinds of evil and dirty talk).  (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Good Manners and Form (Al-Adab), Volume 8, Book 73, Number 47)“

Narrated ‘Abdullah bin ‘Amr bin Al-‘As:  “Once Allah’s Apostle came to me,” and then he narrated the whole narration, i.e. your guest has a right on you, and your wife has a right on you. I then asked about the fasting of David. The Prophet replied, “Half of the year,” (i.e. he used to fast on every alternate day).  (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Fasting, Volume 3, Book 31, Number 195)“

9-  Respecting others’ properties:

Allah Almighty commands us to respect people’s properties and not to be transgressors.

Let us look at Noble Verses 24:27-28 “27. O ye believe! Enter not houses other than your own, until ye have asked permission and saluted those in them: that is best for you, in order that ye may heed (what is seemly).

28. If ye find no one in the house, enter not until permission is given to you: if ye are asked to go back, go back: That makes for greater purity for yourselves: and Allah Knows well all that ye do.”

The conventions of propriety and privacy are essential to a refined life of goodness and purity.  The English saying that an Englishman’s home is his castle, suggests a certain amount of exclusiveness and defiance.  The Muslim principle of asking respectful permission and exchanging salutations ensures privacy without exclusiveness and friendliness without undue familiarity.

That is, if no one replies: there may be people in the house not in a presentable state.  Or, even if the house is empty, you have no right to enter it until you obtain the owner’s permission, wherever he may be.  The fact of your not receiving a reply does not entitle you to enter without permission.  You should wait, or knock twice or three times, and withdraw in case no permission is received.  If you are actually asked to withdraw, as the inmates are not in a condition to receive you, you should a fortiori withdraw, either for a time, or altogether, as the inmates may wish you to do.  Even if they are your friends, you have no right to take them by surprise or enter against their wishes.  You own purity of life and conduct as well as of motives is thus tested.

“They ask thee Concerning the New Moons.  Say:   They are but signs To mark fixed periods of time In (the affairs of) men, And for Pilgrimage.  It is no virtue if ye enter Your houses from the back:  It is virtue if ye fear Allah.  Enter houses Through the proper doors:  And fear Allah:  That ye may prosper.  (The Noble Quran, 2:189)“

Note on Noble Verse 2:189:  The English translator wrote “enter Your houses from the back”.  This is a mistranslation, because in Arabic it says: “taato AL-BOYOOTA min thohooriha”, which literally means “enter THE HOUSES from the back”. 

So the Noble Verse should read as:

“They ask thee Concerning the New Moons.  Say:   They are but signs To mark fixed periods of time In (the affairs of) men, And for Pilgrimage.  It is no virtue if ye enter the houses from the back:  It is virtue if ye fear Allah.  Enter houses Through the proper doors:   And fear Allah:  That ye may prosper.  (The Noble Quran, 2:189)“

According to this Noble Verse, Muslims are not allowed to sneak up on people from their back yards or back doors.  Since back doors and back yards are strictly for private use and not public, then it would be inappropriate for a Muslim to enter anyone’s house from the back, because it would be a form of an invasion of privacy and rudeness.

Those who deliberately violate this law from Allah Almighty will be punished, because Allah Almighty said: “It is virtue if ye fear Allah…..” and “And fear Allah:  That ye may prosper.” in the Noble Verse.

10-  Do not be a stuck-up!

Allah Almighty commands us not to be stuck-up.  He commands us to be laid back and down to earth type of people.

Let us look at Noble Verse 17:37 “Nor walk on the earth with insolence: for thou can not rend the earth asunder, nor reach the mountains in height.”

“And swell not thy cheek (for pride) at men, nor walk in insolence through the earth; for God loveth not any arrogant boaster.  (The Noble Quran, 31:18)“

Insolence, or arrogance, or undue elation at our powers or capacities, is the first step to many evils.  Besides, it is unjustified.  All our gifts are from Allah Almighty.

11-  No offensive name calling is allowed! And do not look down on others!

“O ye who believe! Let not some men among you laugh at others: It may be that the (latter) are better than the (former): Nor let some women laugh at others: It may be that the (latter are better than the (former): Nor defame nor be sarcastic to each other, nor call each other by (offensive) nicknames: Ill-seeming is a name connoting wickedness, (to be used of one) after he has believed: And those who do not desist are (indeed) doing wrong. (The Noble Quran, 49:11)“

12-  If you are loved by people, then Allah Almighty loves you:

Narrated Abu Huraira: “Allah’s Apostle said, ‘If Allah loves a person, He calls Gabriel, saying, ‘Allah loves so and so, O Gabriel love him’ So Gabriel would love him and then would make an announcement in the Heavens: ‘Allah has loved so and-so therefore you should love him also.’ So all the dwellers of the Heavens would love him, and then he is granted the pleasure of the people on the earth.‘   (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, ONENESS, UNIQUENESS OF ALLAH (TAWHEED), Volume 9, Book 93, Number 577)“

Please visit The Mercy of Allah Almighty to Mankind.

13-  What does Islam say about bad breath and body smell?

Please visit What does Islam say about bad breath and body smell?

14-  Muslims must never brag about their sins.  Allah Almighty will never forgive the sins that are advertised:

Allah Almighty will not forgive the sins that are publicly disclosed and bragged about.

What does the Noble Quran say about temptation in general, flirting and sexual enticement?

15-  Is arguing in public allowed in Islam?

Let us look at what Allah Almighty Said in the Noble Quran:

“God loveth not that evil should be noised abroad in public speech, except where injustice hath been done; for God is He who heareth and knoweth all things.  (The Noble Quran, 4:148)“

So unless there is a good and just reason for having a public shouting, we as Muslims are Commanded by Allah Almighty to maintain our manners and good behavior in public.

16-  How to be a “Strong Muslim” in Islam:

“Abu Huraira reported Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: The strong-man is not one who wrestles well but the strong man is one who controls himself when he is in a fit of rage.  (The book of Muslim, Book 32, Number 6313)“

“Abu Huraira reported: I heard Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: One is not strong because of one’s wrestling skillfully. They said: Allah’s Messenger, then who is strong? He said: He who controls his anger when he is in a fit of rage.  (The book of Muslim, Book 32, Number 6314)“

“Anas b. Malik reported Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: Neither nurse mutual hatred, nor jealousy, nor enmity, and become as fellow brothers and servants of Allah. It is not lawful for a Muslim that he should keep his relations estranged with his brother beyond three days.  (The book of Muslim, Book 32, Number 6205)“

“Abu Huraira reported Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: Don’t nurse grudge and don’t bid him out for raising the price and don’t nurse aversion or enmity and don’t enter into a transaction when the others have entered into that transaction and be as fellow-brothers and servants of Allah. A Muslim is the brother of a Muslim. He neither oppresses him nor humiliates him nor looks down upon him. The piety is here, (and while saying so) he pointed towards his chest thrice. It is a serious evil for a Muslim that he should look down upon his brother Muslim. All things of a Muslim are inviolable for his brother in faith: his blood, his wealth and his honour.   (The book of Muslim, Book 32, Number 6219)“

17-  The Bible’s Ten Commandments in the Noble Quran:

Please visit:  The Bible’s Ten Commandments in the Noble Quran.

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MANNERS MAKYTH MAN (AND WOMAN) – MANNERS For a Child of 1918

My grandfather said to me
as we sat on the wagon seat,
“Be sure to remember to always
speak to everyone you meet.”

We met a stranger on foot.
My grandfather’s whip tapped his hat.
“Good day, sir. Good day. A fine day.”
And I said it and bowed where I sat.

Then we overtook a boy we knew
with his big pet crow on his shoulder.
“Always offer everyone a ride;
don’t forget that when you get older,”

my grandfather said. So Willy
climbed up with us, but the crow
gave a “Caw!” and flew off. I was worried.
How would he know where to go?

But he flew a little way at a time
from fence post to fence post, ahead;
and when Willy whistled he answered.
“A fine bird,” my grandfather said,

“and he’s well brought up. See, he answers
nicely when he’s spoken to.
Man or beast, that’s good manners.
Be sure that you both always do.”

When automobiles went by,
the dust hid the people’s faces,
but we shouted “Good day! Good day!
Fine day!” at the top of our voices.

When we came to Hustler Hill,
he said that the mare was tired,
so we all got down and walked,
as our good manners required

 by the American writer Elizabeth Bishop (1911-1979.

She was the Poet Laureate of the United States from 1949 to 1950.

She enjoyed critical acclaim in her lifetime, and her poetry continues to be widely read and studied. She is considered one of the finest 20th century poets to have written in English.

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Polite Society’s Purpose

“Polite Society’s” Purpose Vol. #2 Essay 19

This entry was posted on February 6, 2013, in Polite Society’s Purpose and tagged Children,Christianity, College, Community, Education, Family, Feminism, History, Men, Parenting,Relationships, Society, Women, Workplace. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment

“Polite Society” is a term that came into use during the 1880s and it remained with us until the 1950s. It refers to the behavior of the upper echelon of our society and is normally associated with the Protestants. Their behavior was guided by their strong Christian faith and their sincere concern for the feelings of others. Kindness was the rule of the day and both men and women behaved accordingly, in both their private and public lives.

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” Well, because people were born and raised within the strict parameters of their Christian faith, keeping that promise was relatively easy, as well-bred people rarely stepped out of line, whether at home or at work. This was because the children were trained early on to be polite, hard-working, trustworthy and kind adults, thereby eliminating the need to criticise anyone’s behavior. Everyone played by the rules with wonderful results.

Today, this is no longer the case. We are surrounded by louts, not only at work but at home too.

And once again, we can blame the radical, second wave feminists for the demise of another comforting and traditional component of America’s glorious past. The concept of a polite society has vanished from our landscape with chilling and disheartening results. Its loss has turned, what was once, a pleasant, courteous and peaceful society into a cynical, crude, rude, and obnoxious prison.

Christian women have traditionally engendered genteel behavior by both men and women. They demanded to be treated with the respect that their good behavior entitled them to, all in accordance with the lessons learned in the Bible. The Bible teaches mankind the dignity and respect with which women were to be treated as both women and mothers. The Blessed Mother’s, Joseph and Jesus’ lives were the inspiration for the lives of all women and men.  Good behavior garnered reverence for the women, esteem for the men and respect for both. This understanding of what comprised good personal behavior was one of the key components of our civilized society. 

When the radical, second-wave feminists and their socialist cohorts took advantage of the chaos surrounding the civil rights movement in the 1960s they started, what would become today’s rude society, eventually destroying polite society, by veering away from Christian behavior and instilling the “do-your-own-thing” mentality in our college age kids.  

And yet today, they stubbornly refuse to take blame for all of the evil behavior that followed their revolutions, both sexual and societal, despite the inability for anyone to find, anyone or anything, else to blame.

After their tirades and psychotic hissy-fits everything changed in America. Gone were the sexual mores of love, marriage and children. Gone were the ethical standards of good business practices. Gone were the merit based advancements in education. Gone were the promotions based on talent. Gone were the pride in country, flag and our military. Because, gone were the essential and basic human qualities only Christianity can develop in a culture. They were trashed along with everything else bequeathed to America by the sacrifices of the Christian men, during our American miracle.

 Every traditional, 1000 year old human value, standard of behavior, polite kindness and consoling commandment were dramatically and publicly trashed by the non-Christian likes of Gloria Steinem (radical feminist), Abby Hoffman (radical political activist), William Kunstler (leftist lawyer), Betty Friedan (feminist), Leonard Weinglass (radical’s lawyer) and, Jerry Rubin (social activist), in less than 10 years! With the help of the TV industry, which was in its infancy, these sick people and their ilk, grabbed the limelight and our country, to this very day, has not recovered.

Our daily preferences are glaring example of this decline – people routinely choose football over church; kids sports over family dinner; irresponsibly over responsibility; sex over love; procrastination over determination; globe over God; secularism over faith; career over children; clothes over character; rudeness over politeness; impulsiveness over patience; pets over people; friends over family; rash words over silence; selfishness over consideration; divorce over marriage; and dozens of other disastrous decisions.

And why do we choose to jump off the cliff rather than cherish our short time on earth? Because a group of dysfunctional females in the 1960s convinced millions of women that polite society was for wimps and that their way would break the bonds of patriarchy and oppression thereby allowing them to achieve ”independence” and ”to be all that they could be.”  ”I am woman, hear me roar!” YUK!               It’s the Women, Not the Men. to be continued

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Manners

 

I held the door to allow a lady to enter a shop

And as a result I got a very pleasant surprise

For she stood, looked at me, and said “Thank You”

Her good manners brought a tear to my eyes

 

For good manners are very scarce today

I thought they had been consigned to history

Why this should be is hard to understand

In fact it has become quite a mystery

 

For when we were young we were taught to be polite

To stand up on a bus to let a lady sit down

But that does not appear to be the practice today

As I observe when I travel on the tram into town

 

Are good manners not being taught in our schools

Are the teaschools,chers too busy teaching dancing and singing?

We should never underestimate good manners

For they are a sign of a good upbringing

 

It has been said that good manners cost nothing

But their benefits are hard to evaluate

They can have a profound effect on our charisma

And can lift us from being average to first rate

 

Good manners help to improve relationships

And these are important as we travel on life’s way

For we all expect other people to respect us

And it is important that good manners are taught today 

By Ron Martin

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