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Toddler temper tantrums: How I learned to stay stress free

Picture the scene, it’s a beautiful day, you’re at your favourite restaurant about to sit down to a fabulous Sunday lunch, when suddenly all hell breaks loose.

How many times have your meals out been ruined by a toddler tantrum?

I had my first experience of the ‘terrible twos’ one beautiful Sunday afternoon. We had attended our favourite family restaurant for Sunday lunch. My daughter, Tilly, was sitting between us in her high chair. The menu looked mouth-watering and everything was dandy. Then suddenly the crystal clear wine glasses began to vibrate over the crisp white table linen and knives and forks started to shake. At first I thought it was an earthquake. But it was far worst. Tilly was having a tantrum.


[Related: 
How I help my two year old get over shyness]

With her tiny little feet she kicked the table from underneath. She then tried to break free from her chair. Then came the screaming, causing all eyes to turn on us. “I want daddy” she screamed. Thinking this would calm her, I took her out of the chair and handed her to daddy. The wailing stopped for exactly six seconds before she once again tried to break free. “I want to get down,” she wailed. Threats like “If you don’t behave we’re going home” fell on deaf ears. By now the tantrum was in full swing.

We were attracting more attention than Joan Collins. I couldn’t understand it. She wasn’t even two. It wasn’t fair. I felt cheated. My daughter was only 22 months. Had she begun the terrible twos early, like some kind of early menopause syndrome?

A bemused waiter came to take our order. “What would you like?” he asked. “Just our coats,” I replied. Yes, it was time to leave.

We suffered the terrible twos for quite some time. My daughter did not mind where she had a tantrum. There seemed to be no rhyme or reason to it.

Rather than let it spoil our time, I thought up different ways to deal with the situation so that when a tantrum struck, I was armed and ready. I even gave it a name: ‘Tantrum Tamer’. It worked most of the time, which was definitely better than none of the time. More importantly – it got us through. Here’s how I coped.


[Related: 
How to switch off the waterworks]

Whenever a tantrum struck I would go through a series of five stages with my daughter:

Physical contact and understand helps with toddler tantrums

1. Even if my daughter was screaming at the top of her voice and showing no signs of listening, I would get down to her level so we were face to face. I would explain in a low calm voice that I understood that she was feeling upset. I would then say that if we both took a deep breath together we would start to feel better.

2. I soon discovered that if I made things more child friendly and more like a game, I got better results. Hence the name ‘Tantrum Tamer’. I would say to my daughter, “Shall we try the Tantrum Tamer?” This consisted of a series of actions, starting with a hug. For me this was twofold. If she was totally running wild I could restrain her. Secondly, children quite often respond to touch.

Next we would breathe deeply. I would ask my daughter to take a deep breath in and then blow out with puffy cheek at least twice. It usually calmed me down, too. I would then tell my daughter the lovely warm feeling in her tummy was the Tantrum Tamer working. It would take a little time but would definitely work faster if sheHow to amuse toddlers in the car sat quietly.


[Related: ]

3. I would not only talk calmly to my daughter, but physically look and act calm so that she could see The Tamer was beginning to work. I would smile widely, and say things like “I feel so happy” or “I’m ready for a nice nap”. Anything my daughter would respond to.

4. If all of the above failed, I felt it was time for more drastic measures such as taking away a treat. I would say that she would not be able to go to the park until she was better behaved. If you decide to try this, you need to use your judgement on what penalty will work best for you and your child at that moment. The thing to remember is that this is the last warning.

5. Stick to your guns. If things are not better at this stage then you must carry out the penalty. Don’t be hoodwinked into giving another chance because this will only come back to bite you next time.

For me the terrible twos were a huge learning curve. Although I feel grateful for the experience, I have to admit that now that it’s over, I can breathe a sigh of relief – at least until the teenage years!

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When I was a child I remember being frightened at Goose Fair as well as excited.

I remember being pushed around in the crowds, people urgently wanting to reach the next ride.

They did not consider others,they did not use their manners. The need was for them self

This urgency to jump on the next ride,the anxiousness of what if I don’t get on it?

This need for greed overtakes everyone around them who may be in danger of being hurt.

People being pushed aside for someone who doesn’t care.

Things have changed today what do you think?

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SPANNERS4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Cor 13:4-7 NIV)

      Perhaps you’ve noticed that good manners have become an endangered species, although they have yet to gain “protected” status. Almost everyone still enjoys being on the receiving end of polite treatment, but few seem to care to cultivate the behavior in themselves-and good manners have to be cultivated, they seldom grow naturally. Clearly there is a lot to be said in favor of practicing good manners, much to be gained by simple politeness, but it takes some real effort and motivation to incorporate good manners in our normal behavior. For Christians that motivation is simply expressed when Paul says that “love is not rude” (or “ill-mannered” or “unseemly,” 1 Cor. 13:5).

      Though it can be shown that good manners are of value to everyone and good for all of society, people cannot generally be expected to behave well for a vague or intangible reason. The easiest and perhaps most natural response to bad behavior is bad behavior. Even if we know that bad manners contribute to societal decay and an overall atmosphere of violence and intolerance few people think about such concepts in a moment of anger, frustration, or impatience. Many of the ways that we interact with strangers today seem to be almost designed to promote the attitudes that provoke bad manners (freeway driving, shopping lines, drive through service, telephone sales, etc.) In fact, in keeping with the general decline in the practice of good manners, there are multitudes of training programs today that actually encourage bad manners as a device for personal success under the banner of “assertiveness.”

Some seem to think that the solution to the problems associated with bad manners in general is to be found in fear (“an armed society is a polite society”) or else in regimentation and mandated conformity (dress codes, regulations). These are unlikely solutions though. They do not address the basic problem of (not) respecting and caring for other people. While either fear or rules can provoke an attitude, neither can provide effective motivation for a sustained good attitude. The attitude that produces good manners is a product of training and motivation. People will not behave well unless they 1) want to behave well and 2) know how to. “Love is not rude.” People (you and I) have to learn-again-to value people. Christian leaders are directed to teach people “to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show every courtesy to everyone” (Titus 3:2 NRSV). The gospel of God’s love supplies the motive to want to behave well and the church is to be a training ground for good manners, teaching believers how to behave well. The Christian way of life is directly based on values that demand good manners, respectful and polite treatment of other people-thoughtfulness, even toward anonymous strangers. Wherever society’s manners may go, the Christian mandate is to behave well among the misbehaving. Good deeds truly begin with good manners. Jesus summarized the concept by saying, “Treat others as you would like to be treated.” (Matthew 7:12)

Where Have All The (Good) Manners Gone?

TELL US WHAT YOU THINK.  MAKE A  COMMENT.TELL US WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT MANNERS IN TODAYS SOCIETY.

 

 

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DCIM100MEDIA

Photo by kind permission of Katrina the book buyer in Waterston’s  Nottingham today

 Preparing  to put my  book on sale.

Manners Bear And Friends is a children’s poetry book based on manners. The book is £6.95 plus p&p

ISBN No: 9780956400628

If you would like to order the book you can buy at Waterstone’s Nottingham or online 

Or order direct  from us by email at:  poetreecreations@yahoo.com

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celery

I’m not a big fan of “dieting” — a word that conjures up images of hunger and chewing on celery or doing some kind of fad diet — but I do believe in trying to eat a healthier diet.

Don’t diet, but do stick to a healthy diet, in other words.

But that’s easier said than done, as we all know. The healthy diet goes out the window around the holidays, for example, or when there’s a family party or a function at work full of unhealthy food, or when we go out to eat with friends, or when we go to a ballgame or amusement park or the beach, or when … well, you get the idea. There are lots of ways to get off a diet.

And there are just as many ways to stick to your healthy diet.

I’m not perfect, by any stretch of the imagination, and I often will give in to temptations. But I’ve gotten better over time, partially because practice makes perfect and partly because I’ve learned a lot of great tips, from my fellow bloggers and from you, my favorite readers in the world.

So today we’re going to look at a few of the tips and tricks that I’ve found useful in sticking with a healthy diet.

1. Know your motivation. I have a friend, Jerry, who is getting healthy so that he’ll be alive and well to see his 3-year-old son grow up. When he gets tempted by evil junk food, he asks himself whether he’d rather eat the sweets or see his son grow up. When you have a powerful motivation like this, and remember what choice you’re making whenever you face temptation, it’s easier to be strong when you’d otherwise cave in.

2. Take it in gradual steps. You don’t have to overhaul your diet overnight. I highly recommend changing your diet in small steps — just drink water instead of soda, for example, or eat fruit instead of candy or chips. Once you adjust to this small change, make another a week or two later, and so on until you’re eating much healthier a few months later. This small and gradual process makes it much easier to stick with a healthy diet.

3. Don’t be drastic. I’ve seen fad diets like the Cookie Diet, Atkins, the Banana Diet, and different cleansing fasts — and I don’t recommend a single one of them. They’re drastic, and very few people can last with them for a long time. And the fact is, while you might lose a lot of weight with a drastic diet in a short amount of time, as soon as you get off the diet and go back to eating unhealthily, you’ll gain the wait back. Don’t do anything drastic — make long-lasting changes.

4. Choose foods you love. This is incredibly important. If you hate eating salads, don’t make salads a key to your new diet. I happen to love salads, but everyone has different tastes. Don’t eat foods just because they’re good for you — eat them because they’re healthy AND you love them. For me, that means berries and almonds and oatmeal and salads and yogurt and cottage cheese and tofu, but for others it might be salmon and lean grass-fed beef and asparagus and walnuts. Find the foods you love that are healthy, and you’ll stick with the diet much longer.

5. Pack food. Always bring healthy food with you, wherever you go. Sometimes this just means packing snacks if you’re going on a few errands (I like almonds and fruit), other times you might want to pack more substantial meals and pack them with ice to keep them fresh. Packing your lunch to work is a great idea, along with a bunch of snacks to keep you satisfied all day without eating the donuts someone brought in.

6. Eat before you go. If you’re going out to a restaurant or party, eat a small healthy meal first. That way you won’t be starving and won’t need to eat a huge amount of unhealthy food. You can get by on a salad or some fish and steamed veggies or an appetizer or something like that, and still enjoy the company of your friends and loved ones.

7. Don’t get hungry. When you allow yourself to starve, you will often binge, because your blood-sugar levels are so low that you crave instant sugar (or refined flour). When you’re starving, you are more likely to indulge in donuts or cake. So eat snacks throughout the day, or small meals, so that you never get super hungry.

8. Choose healthy when you eat out. If you go to a restaurant or party, look for the healthy choices. I love a good salad bar, but you could also choose a lean cut of meat, grilled not fried, with steamed veggies, or some black bean or lentil soup, or something like that.

9. Indulge in little bits. I don’t believe in going extreme and not allowing myself to eat treats such as … mmm, chocolate cake. But the key is to eat healthy most of the time, and when you do indulge in a treat, do it in small amounts. Two or three bites of cake or ice cream, for example, won’t kill your diet but will satisfy your sweet craving. Eating a whole tub of ice cream? Not recommended.

10. Eat small portions when you go out. If you go to a party with lots of food, try for small portions. Just eat until you’re slightly full, then have some water and talk with people without eating for awhile, then when you get hungry have another small portion, and so on. Try for the amount of food that will fit in your hand. If you space out several small portions over the course of a couple hours, you’ll feel satisfied but never take in too much.

11. Have tasty substitutes for your weaknesses. When I feel like eating something sweet, I’ll often have berries or fruit. My sister Kat likes to mix berries with almond butter, chocolate protein powder, and water — a weird but satisfying treat. Whatever your weaknesses, find a substitute that will satisfy your cravings when they inevitably come up.

12. Clear your home of unhealthy snacks and foods. If you have junk food in your home, you’re more likely to give in at some point and eat it. But if you clear your home of these foods, you won’t have that temptation. Clear your fridge and cabinets of candy, baked sweets, fried foods, foods made with refined flour, fatty and greasy things like chips and fries, and so on.

13. Bring your own healthy food to a party. If it’s allowed, bring a dish to a party you’re planning on attending, and make it a healthy one. I like to bring a couple of my favorites: Leo’s chili, and my Best Soup Ever.

14. Fill yourself up with water, fruits, veggies, and lean protein at a party. Lots of parties will have at least a couple of healthy options — some fruits or veggies, maybe some lean protein that’s not fried. I will fill myself up on these, even if they’re not entirely a meal, and then eat a healthy meal later.

15. Don’t stuff yourself. Make this your ultimate rule. Even if you break down and get fatty, fried food at a restaurant or party, just don’t eat until you’re stuffed. Try the Okinawan rule of eating until you’re 80% full. This way you can eat the unhealthy stuff and still limit the damage.

16. Don’t starve yourself. This might sound like the “don’t get hungry” tip above, but it’s bigger than that — don’t eat so little that you’re starving. For most women, that means don’t go below 1,200 calories a day — for men, it’s 1,500. But even those are too low for many of us. You only want to cut a moderate amount of calories from your diet — if you starve yourself, you’ll lose muscle, you’ll get unhealthy and you’ll end up falling off the diet eventually.

17. If you indulge, burn it off. Sometimes all of the strategies above will fail. That’s OK. Don’t beat yourself up about it — just get back on the wagon, back on track. Look at it as a small bump in the road. And better yet, get outside and burn off the calories by running, walking briskly, playing sports, whatever it takes. Then start eating healthy again.

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wbd_festWorld Book Day is a celebration! It’s a celebration of authors, illustrators, books and (most importantly) it’s a celebration of reading. In fact, it’s the biggest celebration of its kind, designated by UNESCO as a worldwide celebration of books and reading, and marked in over 100 countries all over the world.

This is the 18th year there’s been a World Book Day, and on 5th March 2015 children of all ages will come together to appreciate reading. Very loudly and very happily. The main aim of World Book Day in the UK and Ireland is to encourage children to explore the pleasures of books and reading by providing them with the opportunity to have a book of their own. That’s why we will be sending schools (including those nurseries and secondary schools that have specially registered to participate), packs of Book Tokens and age-ranged World Book Day Resource Packs (age-ranged into Nursery/Pre-School, Primary and Secondary) full of ideas and activities, display material and more information about how to get involved in World Book Day.

What happens?

Thanks to the generosity of National Book Tokens Ltd, publishers and booksellers, we can send millions of book vouchers to children and young people (more than 14 million, in fact: that’s one for nearly every child aged under eighteen in the country).

Then…

They can take their voucher to a local bookseller and can use it to pick one of TEN (exclusive, new and completely free) books. Or, if they’d rather, they can use it to get £1 off any book or audio book costing over £2.99 at a participating bookshop or book club (terms and conditions apply).

How can you get involved?

Look out for the new downloadable resource packs coming soon and please visit our Resources section which is full of exciting and fun resources based on favourite books, brands, characters and authors.

It’s all about getting kids closer to the books and authors they already love, and letting them discover more books and authors they’ll love every bit as much in the future.

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man

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life and love

 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=node%3D341689031&field-keywords=Love+and+life+by+Gillian+Sims

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Simple but ever so pretty, these multi-coloured cupcakes are topped with sprinkles and a glacé cherry. Perfect for Red Nose Day bake sales.

Less than 30 minspreparation time

10 to 30 minscooking time

Makes 24

Equipment and preparation: for this recipe you will need two 12-hole muffin tins and a piping bag fitted with a large star nozzle.

Ingredients

For the rainbow cupcakes
For the vanilla buttercream
To decorate

Preparation method

  1. Preheat the oven to 170C/160C Fan/Gas 3. Line two 12-hole cupcake trays with cupcake cases.
  2. For the cupcakes, beat the flour, sugar, baking powder, salt and butter together in a freestanding mixer with a paddle attachment (or use a handheld electric whisk). Mix in half the milk until it is just incorporated.
  3. In a separate bowl, whisk the eggs, vanilla extract and remaining milk together. Pour into the flour mixture and beat until the mixture is smooth.
  4. Divide the batter equally between four bowls and colour each one with food colouring, so you end up with four brightly coloured bowls of cake mixture.
  5. Now layer the coloured mixtures in the cupcake cases. Starting with one colour, divide the mixture equally between the cupcake cases and smooth it out so you have a layer at the bottom. Continue with all the other colours in the same way, evenly spreading each layer out and being careful not to mi the colours together, so that you end up with distinct layers of mixture.
  6. Carefully transfer to the oven and bake for 20–25 minutes, or until the sponge bounces back when touched and a skewer inserted into the centre comes out clean.
  7. Leave the cupcakes to cool slightly in the tray before turning out onto a cooling rack to cool completely.
  8. For the vanilla buttercream, beat the butter with a handheld electric mixer until soft. Sift in the icing sugar and incorporate to make a smooth icing. Add the vanilla extract and beat the icing for a further few minutes until light and fluffy. Transfer to a piping bag fitted with a large star nozzle.
  9. When the cupcakes are cold, pipe the vanilla buttercream on top of the cakes and decorate with the hundreds and thousands. To finish, top each cupcake with a glacé cherry to resemble a red nose.

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Yakult is a delicious probiotic drink that helps improve digestion and helps build Immunity. Yakult contains 6.5 billion beneficial bacteria (Lactobacillus casei strain Shirota) that reach our intestines alive and restore the balance of the beneficial or friendly bacteria in the gut. Daily consumption of Yakult improves intestinal health and builds immunity.
Over 30 million people in more than 30 countries including India trust Yakult and drink it every day!

Ingredients

Skimmed Milk Powder, Sugar, Glucose, Natural and Natural Identical Flavour, Water and 6.5 billion Lactobacillus casei strain Shirota.

Nutritional Information (per 65ml)

Energy
: 50kcal
Protein
: 0.8 g
Carbohydrates
: 12 g
Fat
: < 0.1 g
 

Benefits of Yakult

The strain of bacteria in Yakult, Lactobacillus casei strain Shirota was discovered by Dr. Minoru Shirota, a Japanese scientist in 1930. It has more than 80 years of research to back its safety and efficacy. It is scientifically proven to

  • Improve bowel movement and aid digestion
  • Maintain balance of good and bad bacteria
  • Reduce toxins in our body
  • Help build the immune system (reduce risk of infections)

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1. Bathe your child in a laundry basket so that their toys don’t float away.

2. Avoid committing a gender faux pas with other parents.

Avoid committing a gender faux pas with other parents.

Lean down and ask the baby his or her name. The parent will answer for them (if they can’t talk yet).

3. Save your old cell phones and let your kids use them as play cameras.

Save your old cell phones and let your kids use them as play cameras.

Maybe you’ve got the next Juergen Teller on your hands.

4. Punish your kids when they’re fighting.

Punish your kids when they're fighting.

5. Invest in a “baby shower cap.”

Invest in a "baby shower cap."

6. If your kids have bad handwriting, make them spend some time on the monkey bars.

If your kids have bad handwriting, make them spend some time on the monkey bars.

 Why certain activities can help strengthen the upper body and the fine motor skills that can lead to better handwriting.

7. Invest in a good pair of cargo pants.

Invest in a good pair of cargo pants.

Since you stopped caring about fashion the second that baby popped out of you, it’s time to start wearing cargo pants every day, preferably a pair with many pockets. Keep wipes, diapers, plastic bags, and bottles in there.

8. Put sprinkles on everything.

Put sprinkles on everything.

They’ll turn any healthy smoothie or juice into a fun-filled endeavour.

 

9. Need a place to put your kid?

Need a place to put your kid?

Make a hammock with a blanket tied around a table.

10. Make an incredibly easy play fort with a box fan.

Make an incredibly easy play fort with a box fan.

11. Trace your kids’ feet so you can go shoe shopping without having to drag them along.

Trace your kids' feet so you can go shoe shopping without having to drag them along.

It’ll also let you take advantage of any shoe sales you happen to stumble upon. Get more information

12. Finally tell your twins apart with this romper set.

Finally tell your twins apart with this romper set.

13. Put your kids to work by turning chores into a fun game.

Put your kids to work by turning chores into a fun game.

They’ll never know the difference!

14. Use a barrette to fix your little girl’s too-loose tank top.

Use a barrette to fix your little girl's too-loose tank top.

15. To stop nighttime coughing, rub vapor rub on their feet and put socks over them.

To stop nighttime coughing, rub vapor rub on their feet and put socks over them.

16. If your kids are scared of monsters, make monster spray

Squirt under the bed, in the closet. Everybody can go back to sleep now.

17. Stick a Command hook on the back of a high chair to hold bibs.

Stick a Command hook on the back of a high chair to hold bibs.

18. Teach your child to hold a pencil the right way with a wad of Kleenex.

Teach your child to hold a pencil the right way with a wad of Kleenex.

19. Repurpose a pool noodle to become a toddler-proof door stopper.

Repurpose a pool noodle to become a toddler-proof door stopper.

Keep your toddler from slamming doors, getting locked out, and from getting woken up by closing doors. 

20. Use maxi pads to extend diapers for a potty-training child.

Use maxi pads to extend diapers for a potty-training child.

Does your kid wake up with soaked jammies? Stick a heavy absorbent overnight maxi pad into their diaper.

Alternatively, moms can actually tear off the sides, front, and back of a diaper to create an emergency maxi pad.

21. Get a portable high chair.

Get a portable high chair.

Have you seen the high chairs that are out on the market these days? They’re like 4-foot-wide, ugly plastic monstrosities. Why didn’t Charles Eames design a high chair? Anyway,  that turns basically any chair into a high chair (which is awesome for restaurants and friends’ houses), and it folds up so you can put that thing away.

 

22. Use glue and glitter to make “tooth fairy money.”

Use glue and glitter to make "tooth fairy money."

23. Have your child sit on a stability ball while doing homework — it’ll help with their concentration.

Have your child sit on a stability ball while doing homework &mdash; it'll help with their concentration.

This works for adults, too, you know!

24. Freeze a pacifier in an ice cube tray with juice, milk, formula, or water to sooth a teething baby’s gums.

25. Cut a hole in the tip of a pacifier and stick a dropper through it to administer medicine.

Cut a hole in the tip of a pacifier and stick a dropper through it to administer medicine.

Your kid will be less likely to give you trouble.

26. Put the iPad in “Kid Mode.”

Put the iPad in "Kid Mode."

This feature (only available is iOS6) locks the application and disables any hardware controls that could lead your toddler on a wayward path. 

27. Install a baby-gate using heavy-duty cable ties instead of nailing into the banister.

Install a baby-gate using heavy-duty cable ties instead of nailing into the banister.

28. Those zip ties also make impromptu ponytail holders.

Those zip ties also make impromptu ponytail holders.

29. Transform a DVD case into a travel art kit.

Transform a DVD case into a travel art kit.

30. Use a shoe caddy to store games and snacks on a long road trip.

Use a shoe caddy to store games and snacks on a long road trip.

31. Fill a glove with pearled barley or beans, give a few pats with it, and then slip away stealthily into the night.

Fill a glove with pearled barley or beans, give a few pats with it, and then slip away stealthily into the night.

Just make sure you sew the glove shut so the filling doesn’t slip out and turn into a choking hazard.

32. Turn an old lotion bottle into a faucet extender so the little ones can reach.

Turn an old lotion bottle into a faucet extender so the little ones can reach.

33. Push your kid on a swing from afar using a string or rope.

Push your kid on a swing from afar using a string or rope.

*We don’t actually condone this one, unless you happen to be wheelchair bound.

34. For the gamer parent…

For the gamer parent...

35. Put temporary tattoos on your kids in case they get lost.

Put temporary tattoos on your kids in case they get lost.

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