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Archive for March, 2014

The Perfect Home Life

There are certain things within the home that you wouldn’t expect to be a danger to a young child, until you look closely! Before you have children you don’t have to worry about sharp edges on cupboards or about leaving a knife on the side, but as soon as you bring a child into your home you need to take extra care, so here is how to childproof your home

download (2)When it comes to the kitchen, you can install safety latches on all cupboards and draws to stop the child/children from being able to get in them and potentially end up playing with dangerous pieces of cutlery and anything that could harm themselves. Make sure kitchen appliances are pushed as far back and far away from the side as possible. This way they won’t be able to grab it and pull it off the side potentially making it fall…

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Quote: Single mom

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Respect inside and outside the dojo

March 24, 2014

Training Jiu-Jitsu is something totally different from any other practice. It is not only about a fight that will help you to lose weight or recover your health. This is a gentle art, in which the strongest man will learn that not always the smallest is the weakest one.

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On the mats, the equality between two physically different people is set by the use of the technique. That technique which evolves and brings a new belt. Some will say that the belt only helps you to tie your pants. That’s wrong. The belt says what and who you are. It goes beyond the technique and about how many trainings you can perform. It does represent what you learned, but also means far more than that.

Someone who really practices Jiu-Jitsu knows that within this sport there is a philosophy. Each generation…

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TIME

Anyone who’s ever been to a school science fair and seen the elaborate projects that obviously weren’t conceived by a child’s brain knows that parents are more involved than ever. New research shows that some surprisingly common things parents do to help their children succeed might not be doing their kids much good. And according to a new cover story by Hanna Rosin for TheAtlantic, the overprotective instincts of modern parents are destroying children’s independence, trapping them in a hyper-controlled bubble that they might never escape. (This behavior is not doing parents much good either; one study indicates that helicopter mothers are more likely to be unhappy.)

Here are six things mothers and fathers do that seem like responsible parenting, but might not be so great for some children after all:

1) Limiting Risk-Taking (Makes Your Kid a Scaredy-Cat): Rosin cites research out of Norway that…

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It’s easy to take our parents for granted. We forget the sacrifices they ’ve made for us, and the effort it takes to raise happy, healthy children. Respect is foundational to love, and one of the best ways to show your parents that you love them is to treat them with respect. Small habits that you can incorporate into your daily routine, and a loving and positive attitude will make them feel loved and respected, and proud to have you as their child.

Parents and children always will have some level of conflict, but mutual respect helps minimize hurt feelings and animosity resulting from family tensions. Children should respect their parents authority, but parents should also respect their children’s value and age-appropriate choices. When parents and children avoid harsh words, belittling comments and loose tempers, conflicts can often be resolved quickly and effectively.

 

Equality

Mutual respect encourages equality in the home. Even though parents know more because they have more life experiences to draw from, and they have legal authority in the home, they shouldn’t use their elevated positions to dominate their children. Children have intrinsic value and deserve to be treated with kindness and respect, without feeling as though their parents control every move they make. According to Lane Community College, mutual respect is the key to improving relationships between parents and children. Creating a system where parents and children work together to establish ground rules, promote healthy communication habits, encourage age-appropriate decisions and share household chores can lead to a happier home life. Parents might need to enforce the rules, but children respond to fair and consistent expectations.

Closeness

A family that encourages mutual respect is likely to be a close family. According to Brigham Young University professor Larry Nelson, a parenting style that blends love, high expectations and respect for a child’s autonomy lasts for years, long after the child moves out of the home. Specifically, dads who promote mutual respect enjoy closer relationships with their children, and their children have higher levels of self-worth, according to the Psych Central website. Mutual respect shows a child that you respect his independence, personal interests and time. Most importantly, it teaches a child that you love him unconditionally and find value in his existence.

Healthy Communication

Healthy communication reinforces mutual respect between parents and children. The Empowering Parents website encourages parents to listen to their kids and strive to reconcile if their children feel mistreated. Parents can demonstrate respect by asking their kids to forgive them if they say something that’s harsh, critical or unfair. According to the site, healthy communication creates mutual respect because it gives children the opportunity to see their parents as flawed human beings who make mistakes. Parents and children who ask for forgiveness, express honest emotions and show compassion create a respectful atmosphere.

Conflict Resolution

Mutual respect leads to quick and effective conflict resolution. If a respectful parent says, “I’m disappointed with your actions, but I’d like to know what’s bothering you,” a child might soften, knowing that the parent truly cares. If a respectful child says, “I don’t understand why I can’t go to the party, but I trust your judgment,” a parent might use the opportunity to share her concerns about the child’s peers or questionable activities. Mutual respect means both parents and children get to express their feelings, and both are willing to listen to the other’s point of view.

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I love you Mummy you are the best

I love you Mummy you make me laugh

I love you Mummy you give amazing cuddles

I love you Mummy you rub my back

I love you Mummy you have sparkly eyes

I love you Mummy when you wipe my tears

I love you Mummy when you smile

I love you Mummy when you are dancing

I love you Mummy  you read me books

I love you Mummy when you drive the car

I love you Mummy when you sing

I love you Mummy when I’m at school

I love you Mummy you get rid of nits

I love you Mummy you keep me clean

I love you Mummy you know everything

I love you Mummy because you have eyes at the back of your head

I love you Mummy when you are silly

I love you Mummy when you look sad

I love you Mummy for helping with my homework

I love you Mummy, your face, your body, just all of you

I love you Mummy you are beautiful

I love you Mummy all the time

I love you Mummy ‘cos your mine

BY 

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nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
  1. She is my Mum. No one else’s. Or at least she was for two-and-a-half years until my brother was born.
  2. She is always learning.
  3. She has more books than can fit in her house.
  4. She takes a minimum of 10 books out of the library at a time… AND READS THEM ALL!
  5. My Mom taught me how to be vulnerable and strong at the same time.
  6. My Mom can kick your ass in Scrabble because her vocabulary is on par with the OED.
  7. She can crochet.
  8. She can solder stained-glass.
  9. She can quilt.
  10. She can design.
  11. She can draw.
  12. She can paint.
  13. Her art never stays the same, and it’s amazing to see the different ‘periods’ of her discoveries as I grew up (and it continues to this day).
  14. She is an idealist.
  15. She is humble, but with a huge sense of self.
  16. She is quick to laughter.
  17. She introduced me to science fiction, fantasy, quantum physics, spirituality.
  18. She always listens to what I have to say. Always.
  19. She cares about me.
  20. She doesn’t have expectations of what I should become other than my own best version of me.
  21. She sewed superhero costumes for me when I was a kid.
  22. She made me stuffed animals.
  23. She let me watch Yogi Bear at lunch time, and Bugs Bunny on Saturdays.
  24. She writes poetry.
  25. She showed me how a feminist can raise two great boys.
  26. My Mom kept going to school, and never stopped learning. She got three degrees while I lived at home.
  27. She never judged me.
  28. She taught me that being smart is a good thing, even when it wasn’t cool.
  29. She showed me that self-confidence was a decision.
  30. She makes the best strawberry pie, especially when they come from her garden, and the whipped cream is fresh.
  31. She gets excited about new ideas.
  32. She is absolutely beautiful.
  33. She showed me how a married couple can change and adapt together, and grow closer.
  34. She can play piano!
  35. She can sing, and singing makes her really happy.
  36. She has always been supportive of my own endeavours, whatever they may have been or will be.
  37. She gets me in trouble because her love of puns and playing with words rubbed off on my. I never let a pun get away.
  38. She taught me how to fight for things that matter.
  39. She helped me protect myself from feeling too much and from feeling too little.
  40. She read me stories, my favourite being Judy Bloom and Roald Dahl. Her voice for Fudge, in Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing always made me laugh. I remember it to this day.
  41. She can make puppets.
  42. She can write music.
  43. She never imposed strict curfews or censored my choice of movies or books. As a consequence, I had nothing to rebel against when I hit puberty. This was very disconcerting at the time.
  44. She always told me I was beautiful, especially when I didn’t feel that way about myself.
  45. She always made an effort to get to know my friends.
  46. She is so amazing with my kids because now she has an entirely new generation to teach art techniques to.
  47. She is loving and patient with her grandkids.
  48. She knows how to love without conditions.
  49. Did I mention that she knows how to recommend great books? That’s because I think she might have read all of them.
  50. She knows the dewey decimal system inside and out because she studied library sciences. I think that’s cool.
  51. She can write.
  52. She knows how to do research online, and even more importantly, offline!
  53. She has written her own self-published book called Turn A Series Of Small Quilts Into An Art Book.
  54. She blogs!
  55. She taught me about the importance of dreams, both figuratively and literally.
  56. She taught me what figurative and literal actually mean!
  57. She taught me how to overcome adversity through art.
  58. She helped me understand the importance of open-mindedness and a life of learning.
  59. She set my trajectory and then let me go.
  60. She loves me too.
  61. Tell us why you love your Mummy make a comment

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MANNERSMANNERS

We all want our children to have good manners, but it can be a hard thing to teach them at times!  I think you should start early with kids — manners can and should be taught to children as soon as they begin to talk.  (Saying “please” and “thank you” are the basics.) I’ve found that parents who model good manners in front of their children often see them beginning to use appropriate manners on their own.

If your child has bad manners, try implementing some of the “Manners Matter” list below.  Don’t be afraid to over-exaggerate your good manners in front of your child.  Let you child know that good manners are important.

 

Manners Matter

* The first step in helping your child to develop good manners is to identify or make a list of good manners.  A manners list can be written for the home, friend’s homes, school, eating establishments, sporting activities and other places that you allow your child to frequent.  Place the list in a place where you and the child can easily refer to them.  Have your child help write or draw up the lists.

* When your child is displaying poor manners, don’t lecture — teach.  For example: Show your child by wiping your own mouth with a napkin that that’s the appropriate thing to do, instead of using the side of an arm.  Be positive while you are teaching!

* Review your child’s school discipline policy.  Many school rules are set up so that their students display appropriate manners.  For example, schools do not allow their students to walk on tables, throw food and talk when others are talking.  These manner rules can help you reinforce your own manner guidelines at home.

* Teach your child appropriate signals or body language (other than your voice) to remind them to use good manners.  For example, placing your finger on your ear may be used to help remind the child to listen to others while they talk.  Rubbing your lip may be used to remind the child to slow down when eating food.

* Do not be afraid to remove your child from a setting if he or she continues to display bad manners.  Dismiss the child from the dinner table after you have reminded the child of the need to use good manners.

* Children may commonly choose to use inappropriate language when they are with their peers.  Let your child know that this is unacceptable behavior and poor manners.

* Do not encourage your child to use bad manners by laughing at them after they burp, act silly at an inappropriate time, pr make a funny face when someone is serious.  This only teaches the child to use poor manners.

* Always take the time to review the good manner lists before going to the grocery store, someone’s house for dinner, sporting events and other places that your child may attend.

With some practice and coaching on your part, you’ll see your child go from having less-than-perfect manners, to being ready for all the social occasions coming up this spring and summer.

LET’S HAVE YOUR TIPS OR COMMENTS

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ReMoved

THIS IS ONE VIDEO YOU SHOULD WATCH

AdoptiveBlackMom

I finally had a chance to watch this film.  I cried.  It is a haunting, yet beautifully done film on our kids.  It gives context to the push/pull that is very much a part of parenting these beautiful children.

Get into it.

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BCNN1 WP

Russell D. Moore Russell D. Moore

Russell Moore answers a difficult question: Is it wise for singles to adopt? Read the transcript here.

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ADOPION

Pros and Cons of Adopting Children 

The effects of adopting children will be different for every couple, as will be the same for the adopted child.  Every adoption will be different for a variety of reasons and circumstances.

Personally, we adopted our son when he was five months old.  When they brought him out to see us, he had such a beautiful smile that we melted on the spot.  We told the woman not to bother coming back, as we would definitely be keeping him.

To this day he was always our little man, and has never been treated any different to our daughter, and he is nearly forty now.  We have never regretted our decision to adopt for a moment.

 
 

To Tell or not to Tell

 

Honesty Pays in the long run.

Do you tell the new family member that he/she’s adopted or not? In my opinion, we did the right thing. We told him from day one, that we chose him. We also explained to our natural born daughter that she was our special little girl and he was our special little boy. Even though he could not understand what the word adoption meant, as he grew, we explained in more detail.

Others have decided against telling their child. To me, this was wrong, someone we knew, adopted their child. She overheard another friend talking about her being adopted, when she was a teenager. She rebelled, simply because others knew and she found out through listening to gossip. That is a cruel and senseless way for the child to learn the facts of her birth. It caused so much distrust, and strain on the family.

Too much information (overheard)

Two young boys were arguing in the park, one said he was dopted the other said he was doctored. It came to blows, until an intervention allowed parents to explain they were both right.

The one saying he was dopted meant he was adopted. The other one saying he was doctored had been circumcised. Lifes little problems do have a humerous side.

 
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Reasons to Adopt

There could be a number of reasons, why couples go through the process of applying for an adopted child. The couple may have tried unsuccessfully for many years to have their own child, without success. Some of these could have medical reasons for not falling pregnant, while others may not have fertile sperm.

For whatever reason, when a couple applies to adopt a child, they have to go through a lengthy process to be successful. Their screened as to their income, medical backgrounds, age, as well as both wanting this. Sometimes couples may apply although one just goes along with it to keep their partner happy. This is not a suitable situation for a healthy adoption. Years ago, it was a lot easier, as it was a disgrace for the parents, whose daughter becomes pregnant out of wedlock. Therefore, the daughter was virtually forced to move away, have the baby, then return home, to avoid a scandal in the household.

These days, so many girls have babies, purely to receive the baby bonus of thousands of dollars to bring that child into the world. The money is supposed to supply them with the essentials, like pram, bassinet, nappies, and clothes for the newborn. Most of the money more often goes for drugs, entertainment or similar, without the child receiving any benefit for the money.

 

            Overseas children

 

The older child

 

There are many ways of Adopting a child

Overseas Adoptions

Many people look to adopt overseas, agreeing to bring a newborn in from a less wealthy country. The long waiting lists and unavailability of adopting in their own country is the reason why.

Adopting the older child

Successful older adoptions depend entirely on many circumstances that the child and the adoptee parents need to be aware. Some children have suffered from abuse of many sorts which will naturally cause lots of mental, and behavioral problems.

There have been many success and failure stories, under these circumstances, although problems are not entirely due to the ages of the adopted child.

 

 

The Adopted Child

It is very important for this newborn baby or child to be living in a safe and healthy environment. If for any reason this is not so, the adoption should not, be allowed to continue. We have always given our son the option of finding his natural parents. We gave him all the details that we had regarding his parents, and offered to help him find them if that was what he wanted. In fact, we encouraged him to follow up on this, although he refuses to do it.

This has to be his decision and his alone. We will not try to influence him either way, except to say that it would be good for him to try to contact them, for his own peace of mind. We also explained that, his parents would not have given him up without good reason, especially if they had seen his mischievous little smile.

We tried to adopt another child. And, as the woman explained, we have two beautiful healthy children, why not be satisfied, because there are so many people still trying to adopt their first. We therefore had to withdraw our application for another child.

Have we ever regretted, adopting a child? Never, we would do it all over again, mind you any child has his/her good and bad moments, and we have certainly had some of those with both of our children.

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