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Archive for March 20th, 2014

 
MANNERSMANNERS

We all want our children to have good manners, but it can be a hard thing to teach them at times!  I think you should start early with kids — manners can and should be taught to children as soon as they begin to talk.  (Saying “please” and “thank you” are the basics.) I’ve found that parents who model good manners in front of their children often see them beginning to use appropriate manners on their own.

If your child has bad manners, try implementing some of the “Manners Matter” list below.  Don’t be afraid to over-exaggerate your good manners in front of your child.  Let you child know that good manners are important.

 

Manners Matter

* The first step in helping your child to develop good manners is to identify or make a list of good manners.  A manners list can be written for the home, friend’s homes, school, eating establishments, sporting activities and other places that you allow your child to frequent.  Place the list in a place where you and the child can easily refer to them.  Have your child help write or draw up the lists.

* When your child is displaying poor manners, don’t lecture — teach.  For example: Show your child by wiping your own mouth with a napkin that that’s the appropriate thing to do, instead of using the side of an arm.  Be positive while you are teaching!

* Review your child’s school discipline policy.  Many school rules are set up so that their students display appropriate manners.  For example, schools do not allow their students to walk on tables, throw food and talk when others are talking.  These manner rules can help you reinforce your own manner guidelines at home.

* Teach your child appropriate signals or body language (other than your voice) to remind them to use good manners.  For example, placing your finger on your ear may be used to help remind the child to listen to others while they talk.  Rubbing your lip may be used to remind the child to slow down when eating food.

* Do not be afraid to remove your child from a setting if he or she continues to display bad manners.  Dismiss the child from the dinner table after you have reminded the child of the need to use good manners.

* Children may commonly choose to use inappropriate language when they are with their peers.  Let your child know that this is unacceptable behavior and poor manners.

* Do not encourage your child to use bad manners by laughing at them after they burp, act silly at an inappropriate time, pr make a funny face when someone is serious.  This only teaches the child to use poor manners.

* Always take the time to review the good manner lists before going to the grocery store, someone’s house for dinner, sporting events and other places that your child may attend.

With some practice and coaching on your part, you’ll see your child go from having less-than-perfect manners, to being ready for all the social occasions coming up this spring and summer.

LET’S HAVE YOUR TIPS OR COMMENTS

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ReMoved

THIS IS ONE VIDEO YOU SHOULD WATCH

AdoptiveBlackMom

I finally had a chance to watch this film.  I cried.  It is a haunting, yet beautifully done film on our kids.  It gives context to the push/pull that is very much a part of parenting these beautiful children.

Get into it.

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BCNN1 WP

Russell D. Moore Russell D. Moore

Russell Moore answers a difficult question: Is it wise for singles to adopt? Read the transcript here.

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ADOPION

Pros and Cons of Adopting Children 

The effects of adopting children will be different for every couple, as will be the same for the adopted child.  Every adoption will be different for a variety of reasons and circumstances.

Personally, we adopted our son when he was five months old.  When they brought him out to see us, he had such a beautiful smile that we melted on the spot.  We told the woman not to bother coming back, as we would definitely be keeping him.

To this day he was always our little man, and has never been treated any different to our daughter, and he is nearly forty now.  We have never regretted our decision to adopt for a moment.

 
 

To Tell or not to Tell

 

Honesty Pays in the long run.

Do you tell the new family member that he/she’s adopted or not? In my opinion, we did the right thing. We told him from day one, that we chose him. We also explained to our natural born daughter that she was our special little girl and he was our special little boy. Even though he could not understand what the word adoption meant, as he grew, we explained in more detail.

Others have decided against telling their child. To me, this was wrong, someone we knew, adopted their child. She overheard another friend talking about her being adopted, when she was a teenager. She rebelled, simply because others knew and she found out through listening to gossip. That is a cruel and senseless way for the child to learn the facts of her birth. It caused so much distrust, and strain on the family.

Too much information (overheard)

Two young boys were arguing in the park, one said he was dopted the other said he was doctored. It came to blows, until an intervention allowed parents to explain they were both right.

The one saying he was dopted meant he was adopted. The other one saying he was doctored had been circumcised. Lifes little problems do have a humerous side.

 
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Reasons to Adopt

There could be a number of reasons, why couples go through the process of applying for an adopted child. The couple may have tried unsuccessfully for many years to have their own child, without success. Some of these could have medical reasons for not falling pregnant, while others may not have fertile sperm.

For whatever reason, when a couple applies to adopt a child, they have to go through a lengthy process to be successful. Their screened as to their income, medical backgrounds, age, as well as both wanting this. Sometimes couples may apply although one just goes along with it to keep their partner happy. This is not a suitable situation for a healthy adoption. Years ago, it was a lot easier, as it was a disgrace for the parents, whose daughter becomes pregnant out of wedlock. Therefore, the daughter was virtually forced to move away, have the baby, then return home, to avoid a scandal in the household.

These days, so many girls have babies, purely to receive the baby bonus of thousands of dollars to bring that child into the world. The money is supposed to supply them with the essentials, like pram, bassinet, nappies, and clothes for the newborn. Most of the money more often goes for drugs, entertainment or similar, without the child receiving any benefit for the money.

 

            Overseas children

 

The older child

 

There are many ways of Adopting a child

Overseas Adoptions

Many people look to adopt overseas, agreeing to bring a newborn in from a less wealthy country. The long waiting lists and unavailability of adopting in their own country is the reason why.

Adopting the older child

Successful older adoptions depend entirely on many circumstances that the child and the adoptee parents need to be aware. Some children have suffered from abuse of many sorts which will naturally cause lots of mental, and behavioral problems.

There have been many success and failure stories, under these circumstances, although problems are not entirely due to the ages of the adopted child.

 

 

The Adopted Child

It is very important for this newborn baby or child to be living in a safe and healthy environment. If for any reason this is not so, the adoption should not, be allowed to continue. We have always given our son the option of finding his natural parents. We gave him all the details that we had regarding his parents, and offered to help him find them if that was what he wanted. In fact, we encouraged him to follow up on this, although he refuses to do it.

This has to be his decision and his alone. We will not try to influence him either way, except to say that it would be good for him to try to contact them, for his own peace of mind. We also explained that, his parents would not have given him up without good reason, especially if they had seen his mischievous little smile.

We tried to adopt another child. And, as the woman explained, we have two beautiful healthy children, why not be satisfied, because there are so many people still trying to adopt their first. We therefore had to withdraw our application for another child.

Have we ever regretted, adopting a child? Never, we would do it all over again, mind you any child has his/her good and bad moments, and we have certainly had some of those with both of our children.

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Lost in my own little world I am a child of no words.

I can only write what I feel and pray that this’ll work.

I am trying to explain that I am someone but they don’t understand.

And they all seem to get mad at me whenever I use my hands.
Every night I’m in the dark and all I can do is cry.

Because nobody seems to like me and I can’t figure out why.
One day I met this lady and I began to write.

Then all of a sudden I saw the tears coming from her eyes.
She took the pen and wrote that she understands how i feel.

Because of this I knew that all of her tears were real.
Lost in my own little world I am a child of no words.

For I am deaf, but I can feel the warmth of true comfort.
Then this woman took my hand to let me know she understands.

I think that all of you can guess that she is a child of no words too.

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