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Archive for February 21st, 2014

CLEVER

 

I read a lot of puns, recently. They were so funny I thought I might like to share them with you. Here are the top ten funniest and hilarious puns I have picked for you.

 

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

3. The dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

4. Let’s talk about rights and lefts. You’re right, so I left.

5. When William joined the army, he disliked the phrase ‘fire at will’.

6. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I’ll show you A-flat minor.

7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

8. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

9. He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.

10. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

Bonus: Another 10 Funny Puns!

1. If you want to make money as a comedian you gotta have the cents of humor.

2. What do you call a marketplace that sells weird stuff? A bizarre bazaar!

3. Being struck by lightning is a really shocking experience!

4. The Hungary Wales Seattled down and Finnished their lunch, Hamburg-ers with Chiles.

5. A bicycle cannot stand on its own because it is two-tired.

6. “What’s purple and 5000 miles long?” “Ooh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!”

7. How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!

8. Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, “Uhm… how do you drive this thing?”

9. The reason he didn’t become a juggler was… he hadn’t got the balls to do it!

10. “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.” – Kung Fu Panda

I love puns! If you know any more funny puns, please feel free to leave one in the comments

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Your child lives in a very complicated social world. This has always been true for children: all parents can remember their own tears or rage at the cruelty of another child; all parents can remember wanting desperately to be accepted and approved of by other kids. Most of us can remember, at some point in our lives, longing for a best friend.

Photo: Lance Webel

Things are even more complicated for children now, as media has introduced children to the world of adult mores before they are emotionally ready. Our children do not know, just instinctively, how to build good relationships with other children in such a culture of shifting rules.

Luckily, healthy kids generally make healthy choices even in the context of difficult peer situations. That means that if children have good relationships at home they have a healthy head start, but they still need your help in learning to navigate a complex social world. Some ideas on how to help your kids develop the social skills they need:

 

    1. Foster good social skills from toddlerhood on.    This is one of the most important skill sets your child will ever    develop. It is infinitely more important to her future happiness than    helping her develop her intellect.

 

    1. Support his friendships.    Honor and reinforce your child’s developing friendships. Talk about    them, remember them, create opportunities to play. Remember that    children get aggravated with each other, just as adults do. It doesn’t    mean the end of a friendship, necessarily, just that they need help to    work through the issues that come up.

 

    1. Model respectful relating.    Remember that your child will treat others as you treat her. In    addition to the obvious everyday respect, that means that you give her    criticism in private, not in front of others, including her friends.    Which means you have to find tactful ways to talk to your young child    and other kids about the way they are treating each other, to help them    work out difficulties when they play together.

Photo: Phil Cantor

  1. Teach your child that people are important.    All parents have to choose their battles, so put up with messiness and    dawdling if you must, but teach your child consideration for others.    Model it for him early on, praise it, help him brainstorm to solve peer    problems, and don’t let your child intentionally or unintentionally    disrespect another person. It you can’t confront it as it happens    without embarrassing your child, be sure to talk about it later. As    kids get older, you may need to be very explicit about insisting that    they acknowledge adults in their presence, as well as other kids.    Often preteens and young adolescents need to be reminded of this, and    to be given coaching on how to handle interactions that feel awkward to    them.
  2. Help your kids how to repair rifts in relationships.     When we think about repairing relationships, we usually focus on apologizing.  But premature apologies won’t be heartfelt and may    backfire by causing the child to hold a grudge. Giving them a chance    to cool down first always works better.Apologizing is a very useful friendship skill that doesn’t come easily    to people in our culture. Children learn how to apologize by watching    their parents. If you never apologize, they won’t either. If you    apologize graciously and often, to them and to others, they will too.    The secret of helping kids learn to apologize is not making the apology    into a punishment.
  3. Understand and teach the emotional intelligence skills necessary in all relationships.    Examples include listening and “I” statements, which will pave the way in all your’s child’s relationships.

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